


A very cliche destiel hs au

by contentflop



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe-High School, Crack, Destiel - Freeform, Funny, Gay, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, M/M, Porn, This is pure crack, Weed, and drugs, drug, so much weed, your parents will be disappointed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-04-04
Packaged: 2018-03-17 19:39:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3541523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/contentflop/pseuds/contentflop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A vary cliche desteel hs au where cHas is a gey nerd wit no freinds nd dene is a fuckboy jock who treis two hard too bee straight</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The begining of only every destiel hs au everrrrr

**Author's Note:**

> This is a VARY SRS STORY KNOT TWO BEE TAKEN LIGHTLY

Okey so liek cas had just moved to a new school BC he had to his parents or brothers wer liek cas wer fukin movin deal wit it bro it's usually Michael in charge BC their dads an assbutt and he left dem wen cas was liek 3 WHOO way 2 go chuck a+ paranting rite der nd so GABE the naughty lil elf he is will always b liek

MICHAEL Y WE HAV 2 GO I HAD A GIRL BAK DER AND SHE WAS ALSO MY DRUG DEALER SHE GAVE ME FREE WEED WEN I BANGED HER nd chas would b liek

GABE YOU FUKIN IDIOT DAQUAN IS A MAN YEW JUS TO TRIPPY TO REALIZE 

GOSH DARN IT SHE TOLD ME SHE JUS KEPT A PET SNAKE IN HER PANTS SOMETIEM nd den Michael b all 

Okey you lame fucktard swear at yer shitty new school you go evry day GABE no skipping school or I'll lock you in a sex torture dungeon 

Hahahah that sounds liek fun

Yew got to be fucked by a man and No weed in the sex torture dungeon

Aw hell naw BISH no weed no happiness

Hahahah den git yer ass tew alistars pit of doom fiev days a week you ho nd cHas staHp being a fukin nerd nd maek friends 

Hahahah yeah cHas u fukin pussy 

Nd den they'd move in nd cas would sit in his room surrounded by boxes nd crei liek a littl bitch BC his life is so hard gabriel won't let him watch say yes to the dress nd he keeps stealing from Cas's meds to get high lief is so hard


	2. Cas Goes to School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ces struggles two bee a popuLer kid in hiGh school but insTead becomes more of a loSer than the person who is reading this haha sucker most teenagers are out getting drunk and having funn but you're a coOl cat so yeu stay indOors and read gay pOrn all day lul

Cas was too busy being super gey in his bed last night even though he didn't even get laid haha loser when he fogot to turn on his alarm nd wok up late

God fucking Dammit you moldy onion get your fat saggy ass out of bed you loser MICHAEL said slamming the door LIEK a monkey that had a heart attack

MICHAEL STFU I WAS UP ALL NIGHT BEING GAY AND MY ASS IS NOT SAGGY IT IS PERKY AND CUTE UNLIKE YOUR FACE YOU MUTILATED DVD SET

THEN WHY DONT YOU GET LAID

BC IM FUKIN GAY AND NO ONE WANTS TO DATE ME WHAAAA CAS started crying like a whore in church b4 MICHAEL slapped the booty and he was liek Michael wtf so den he got dressed in his nerd sweater vest THAT no one even wears anymore not since the 90's liek really BRUH so den Michael drove him and gave to school but gabe was liek 

MICHAEL STOP HERE THIS SUSPICIOUS ALLEY PROBABLY SELLS WEED

NO GABE YOU DEMENTED HORSE DRAWING ALISTER IS WAITING FO YOU AT THE GATES OF THE PIT

FAK ALISTAR HE CAN SUCK MY RAINBOW SHOELACES

GABE YOU FUCKING SHIT GOD FUCKING DAMMIT NO FUCKING PROFANITIES YOU COCKSUCKING SHITHOLE

DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO YOU PUKE GREEN TARGET DRESS 

nd den Michael pulled out a machete and became the creepy Michael from a thriller movie so gabe screamed and jumped out of the car but cas was doing fukin calculus BC he's such a loser hahaha nd so Michael accidently killed him but it ok BC he came back to life but he got blood on his jacket nd Michael yelled at him and told him he's grounded from watching teen mom 2 so cas sobbed sobbingly all the way to school but when he got ther evry1 was liek 

HAHAHAH U fukin pussy STAHP creing liek a lil bitch nd all the teachers went 

cas u stupid shit UR shirt sucks ass nd they made him change into a ugly ass shirt that MAED him look liek a sausage that got stepped on by an old Chinese man who knew karate and talked in confusing quotes that made no sense and den wen he got home he wasn't allowed to read his pregnant teen magazine so he went out and murdered sum kid nd creid in bed while he masturbated to Austin MAHONE eating a banana


	3. Dean the fuckboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dene is sooooperr cewl and totally not homo until he runs into chashew eel

Dene was so cool (lul jk) BC he had a really big dick and played on the football team and that automatically made him cool (not) actually he was just a FUCKBOY that thought he was AWESOMER

Evry dae dene would wake up lift weights that were actually sticks and Google a pic of a weight room and be LIEK dun wit my daily workout #ripped on Instagram 

Den hed call his freind Gordon who was a total dick and be liek wuddup man wanna play hopscotch liek the boss ass bitches we pretend to be nd den they'd be little wusses and pretend to be butterflies with the 8 year old little girl next door

Den dey go to school nd be liek yo if anyone touches me I'll stab you with a demon knife but they never will because they too pussy nd so liek den Gordon will go grope his girlfriend in the middle of the hallway so everyone can see hell be gettin some tonight (not BC she's actually just a prostitute he paid so he could look cool)

So den dene was walking down the hall to first period only BC Ther was a pretty gal der named Lisa she nd dene loved to fuck shit up but den he ran into someone nd went

HO STFU ND WATCH WER UR GOIN U ALMOST RAN INTO DA QUEEN

DA ONLY QUEEN YOULL EVER BE IS DA QUEEN OF FUCKBOYS Sed de other person who was a gey nerd wearing an ugly ass sweater vest

AHH U A STUPID HO DIE DIE DIE and den dene pulled out his demon knife nd went stabby stab stab nd Cas died for LIEK the 5th time wen he came back he was pissed nd all liek

Srsly U douche I died liek 5 times I'm getting tired of all the blood on mah beautiful shirt

Naw dawg UR shirts uglier than my mothers butthole nd dene went to stab him again but cas surprised him by turning into an airplane and crashing into denes dickhole and shoving himself up his throat. Dene died but came back to life later now really pissed off BC he no longer maintained his cool FUCKBOY status now he was just a loser fuckboy ugh


	4. Classes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deneey weenie peenie nd geystiel go to sex Ed toget Her whEr dey learn abt all da uses for a silicone dildo

So liek cumstiels first perid class wux sex Ed witch was sooo annoying BC they talk about how the peen peen and the vag liek to merge into one but cas don't want the vag and the titties cas wanna suck some dick 

CHas get to sit next to his BFF balthyzar LUL hahah you probably thought cHas had no friends BC you read the description butt no even a nerd with ugly ass glasses and a big red mark that looks like a dick on his left butt cheek is cooler than u hanahhaha

Nd den balth tar was liek omg u homo wer doin those bby projects whEr u gotta bring home flower powder WANNA be my partner (4 lyfe) BC ballet dar had a big fat crush on cas but cas was all liek 

bruh no homo even though they both homos so he was liek nahh bruh I'll jus go with Charlie BC she's a lesbian and won't try to hit on me

Nd so den the teacher who was a fat old man who didn't get laid in liek 20 yeers was liek haha lil fucks I already chose UR partners so u can stAhp eye FÜCKING the shit out of each other nd so he called the list of names but unfort unat ely it turns out they wer short a number of girls so ther had 2 bee a gey cupple which was deneey weeniee peenie and cashew ell a

Aw damn not this stupid loser again CMON teach at least give me to someone cool

Hahaha no u became a loser fuckboy when cas flew up ur dickhole in the hallway lululul

GODFUCKIN DAMMIT nd so dene turned into a tyranasaurus Rex nd devourd da whole class room nd he had the teacher nd classmates inside him except FO cost co stella who he knew would turn into a dildo and once again turn dene into an even bigger uncool fuckboy 

So liek all his classmates wer liek HO LEMME OUT THIS IS SO GEY IN HERE THERE ARE RAINBOWS AT EVERY CORNER and of course deney be liek NO THEIR AINT I DONT SEE NO FUCKIN RAINBOWS BC I STRAIGHT AF

FACE IT DOUCHEBAG U GEYER THAN ADAM LAMBERT AND TYLER OAKLEY COMBINED

FAK OFF and so dene spit them into a bowl of soup and pulled lava on it and drank it nd dey died butt ther was weed in the soup so he became liek really high nd accidentally stepped on cushionstiel who immediately became a dildo and shoved him up denes tyranasaurus butthole


	5. The Flour Project

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas drops off denes project while denes TRYNA hav a little fun ;) ;) ;)

It was the weekend and dene was sittin in his room fucking his gf Lisa Brayden who he hated BC she was a total bitch but she was also flexible and had a nice butt so dene was liek LUL fine

Woman make me a sandwich you stupid butt fart

No dumb anus hole you do it I only make food for cool fuckboys not loser fuckboys

HOOOP MAH GAWD DAT WASNT MY FAULT CASHEW EEL IS A MAGIC FAIRY HE COULD TURN YOU INTO A LOSER FUCKBOY TOO but den Lisa slapped dene and farted into her vagina creating a storm of farts she used to fly out the window and into forever 21 like the basic white whore she is

dene creid FO liek 30 seconds before he realized he had 2 girlfriends BC hes a douchebag dinosaur without an anus nd called over Anna

Yo HO LEMME pound yo ass tonight

You fukin shit I'm wit my bro he's studying BC he's a sad gey nerd but I guess I can ride you while I watch him 

LUL okey dokey

Nd they rode over via 20 foot dickless pony named shanaynay who claimed he was gey nd no didn't wanna get fucked in the anus by a vibrating dildo from Anna

So wen dene opened the door he was liek hey bae lets fuck but den cas stepped in in his ugly sweater vest he didn't wash for like 3 days so it was all gross and smelly 

DAMMIT CHAS U DUMB WHORE YOURE THE LAST PERSON I WANNA SEE

SAME DENE ID RATHER HAVE CRAPPY GAY SEX WITH SHANAYNAY THAN SEE YOU BUT ITZ UR TURN TO TAKE CARE OF THE FLOWER SACK nd den cas threw their health project at denes 2 inch dick which immediately started crying 

Yo mamma make me a fukin salad or I'll turn you into a cat with no kidneys

Ugh fine nd dene went upstairs to his brother SAMS room. Sam was emo and sad BC dad was all

LUL no sam you can't go to college you gotta be a stripper liek me nd John would dance around In lace panties from Victoria secrets

DAD STAHP I JUS WANNA LAW nd he'd CREI FO liek 3 days while dene laughed BC he sucked at not being a douche dick 

Nd so SAMS room was sooper depressing nd all his posters sed I'm sad and I hate my parents and my stupid brother Dean and all his music was by sad screaming emos liek Gerard Way and my chemical anus or whatever 

Other of SAMS favorite bands include panic at the booty, pierce the vagina and black veil dicks. Sam was sittin in his room on tumblr updating his status from depressed to so depressed I might cut my dick off nd dene threw his sack of flour at SAMS eyeliner which was so thick even the black parade would tell him to chill 

SERMY TAEK CARE OF MY FUKIN HEALTH PROJECT OR ILL STAB ANDY BEER SACK IN THE BALLS 

NO DENE YOU CANT EVEN DO THAT ANDY BEERSACK IS IN MIAMI DARKENING HIS SOUL FOR HIS NEW SONG I AM DEPRESSED AND I WANT TO DIE

TOO FUKIN BAD IM NOT TAKIN CARE OF THIS SHITTY THING

YES YOU ARE UNLESS YOU WANT TO FAIL BC ILL THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW

I DONT GIVE A SHIT but den jus as dene was about to feed the sack to shanaynay denes mom burst in like

DEANIE CASTIEL IS WAITING FO YOU HE SAYS IF YOU THROW THE SACK OUT THE WINDOW HELL SHOVE HIMSELF UP YOUR ANUS AGAIN

UGH MOM GO BACK TO THE CEILING I DONT HAVE TIEM FO DIS 

YES YOU DO nd Mary set fire to denes anus nd dene died again nd went to hell where alistar was all yo dene yew hav to taek a 10,000 point test evry day nd study for 40 years nd dene creid so hard cas could hear it felt sorry became and angel and saved dene from alistar 

YAAY no FUKIN finals those suck worse than an ugly chick trying to give me a blowjob

Hahah LUL UR not safe yet nd cas turned dene into a giant butthole and fed him moldy broccoli for 5 hours the end


End file.
